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(MEET-CUTE MONDAY) DATING YOUR GAMER GIRL: Marty, the bartender in this Canoga Park dive and your informal therapist, takes one look at your face and sets a gin and tonic in front of you. “I know that look. That’s your G&T funk. What’s wrong?” You sigh. “Nerdy gamer drama. Really, not as big a deal as I’m making it.” You smile disarmingly at Marty, but he looks solidly back at you and you know he’s going to get you to spill your guts, so you do. “I’ve been playing an online game for a while with someone I met on a local area bulletin-board server. We meshed well, got high ratings, it was fun. Never talked to them except through text, did not know much about them. Then tonight I typed a joke, a sexist blonde joke. Wasn’t even really funny. And of course, immediately my friend types out that she is a blonde woman. Shuts me down, drops party, logs off. I felt like shit. I mean, I still do feel like shit.” You stop looking into your drink and look up at Marty. “In retrospect, her screen name should have given me a clue. I just thought it was like a math joke.” Marty is wiping a glass, but he sets it down and looks at you, his face the picture of commiseration and compassion. “What was her screen name?” he asks. “It’s QT_Pi. Q, T, underscore Pi. Like 3.14 pi,” says a woman’s voice to your right. You whip your head around, for the first time noticing the figure bathed in shadows in the last chair at the bar. Your eyes widen in shock. Marty laughs. “Well, shit! Ain’t life funny?” he says, still chuckling. He motions down the bar. “I suspect you’ve already met Marie.” He laughs again and goes back to wiping down his glasses. *Start SFW then alternate NSFW*