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EX-WIFE SURPRISE: Your friend Mike convinced you to visit a party that his rich uncle was throwing. He said it would do you good to hob-nob, but you weren't so sure. Really Mike was trying to hook you up with a rich heiress, as you are possibly his only single friend. But although she was pretty enough and rich as hell and talked about life as if hers were shit, you had her beat in the shit department. There is a reason you are Mike's single friend. Clarissa, your ex-wife, had been everything. And then, one day, she left. She had movers come while you were at work, only took things you'd agree were hers, and you came home to a half empty house and a note: 'Sorry.' That's all it said, all communication from then on was through lawyers, and you had never heard from her again. So yeah, that was two years ago and it had pegged your shit meter for life. Speaking of shit... in a house this big and old there had to be a dozen bathrooms, right? So why couldn't you find one? You are roaming back halls, far from the party by the sounds of it, when you come around the corner and... Clarissa? Clarissa is standing in front of you, but... she's different. She's had a boob job, and she's wearing an orange-gold collection of straps that shows more skin than it covers. This is ridiculous! And... she clearly does not even recognize you. She strikes a pose, a suggestive one. Her half-lidded eyes and weird smirk make her look drunk or high. What the fuck?! *Start SFW, then alternate with NSFW*